YES! WE KILLED HER

I Maj Rakesh Dubey,VirChakra, along with my fierce and lethal fighting machine, the menacing Maratha Guerrillas; was Helicopter dropped on the outskirt, south of Jaffna. We were allotted a dedicated flight of 4 X MI-17 huge transport combat helicopters, to land by slithering from Helicopter hovering at the height of 100 feet. The two and fro flight time from Palali military airfield to the highly volatile and explosive battle zone at Navatkuli, at extreme fast speed and under dangerous heavy weapon enemy fire; was approximately 35/40 minutes. We were well trained professional combat group of 68 dangerous combat soldiers and with our equipment and lethal weapon consignment load, the 4X MI 17 carried out 3 X one way sorties. I Maj Rakesh Dubey,Vir Chakra was tasked to lead the attack into Jaffna, after many earlier combat groups having miserably failed. Our attack and entry into Jaffna was preceded by disconnecting the electricity supply of the entire Jaffna Peninsula and ensuring through leaflet drops, from high flying dedicated Psychological Warfare Combat Aircraft and via Artillery Long Range Guns. The leaflets instructing the civilian population of Jaffna to vacate the entire Peninsula and shift to designated safe transit camps. A definite time frame had been announced for Jaffna residents, the time limit deadline was now over and it was safely assumed that the Jaffna Peninsula had been vacated and now only Liberation Tiger of Tamil Elam (LTTE) militants were operating in the entire area. The freedom to execute our military deadly combat operations against the LTTE, without fear of any collateral damage to the innocent civilians; was now possible. I Maj Rakesh Dubey,Vir Chakra and my lethal and deadly Maratha combat soldiers, single handed captured Jaffna; the Head Quarter of LTTE and Command Centre of the most dangerous and cunning LTTE Supremo Prabhakaran. The battle of Jaffna was most fierce, it is estimated that the casualties suffered by the Indian Army was more than, what it had suffered in 1965 war. In my successful pursuit to capture, defeat and ultimately destroy the might of LTTE in Jaffna, my menacingly professional combat outfit did suffer casualties both wounded and martyred; but despite the odds of fighting in an alien land, unknown terrain, harsh tropical rain forest jungles, our combat military achievements far exceed the LTTE enormous effort of placing its entire might against us. The LTTE had realized that the combination of menacing Maj Rakesh Dubey,Vir Chakra and the fierce Maratha combat soldiers was difficult to defeat. LTTE for the first time after Indian Army entry, into the Sri Lanka conflict; suffered heavy casualties both severely wounded and large number of their cadre as dead. I captured Jaffna, and was declared the Hero of the Jaffna war, with The Army Commander personally announcing my coveted gallantry decoration for conspicuous bravery of very high order. I was instructed to remain deployed in Jaffna and to hold and control Jaffna town, being totally in know of the entire area; as it was captured by me and my fierce combat outfit single handed.

WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE BECOME A MEMORY. THE MEMORY BECOMES A TREASURE.

The tall Tamil middle age gentleman stood outside his bungalow gate, open heartedly welcoming me. He a Tamil Brahman, in his fifties; along with his four tall, smart and movie star like handsome sons were extremely happy and pleased to welcome me. The family was aware of my frequent military foray in that area, and was therefore waiting that day to draw my attention, to welcome me in their house. Their presence in front of the gate was to conspicuous to be missed, I signaled my driver to stop in front of their house, and got down from my combat jeep. I was in my battle gear, accompanied as always by my men who were fearless fighting machine, and therefore felt slightly odd to visit a known civilian family. I stepped forward to meet all of them in front of the gate. I couldn’t reciprocate with the same zeal and happiness, for the reason best known to all of us; the state which these proud Tamils were so bravely exhibiting. We shook hands and I hugged each one of them affectionately. I was very lovingly escorted inside the gate and it is then I noticed in full view a very obvious and prominent landmark inside the compound, a “Grave”, a place nicely done up and decorated. I was fully aware of this place and therefore couldn’t stop myself from being attracted to the spot. It reminded me of an incident, with tear drops on my cheek; I touched the Grave in reverence and prayed.

DO NOT THINK THERE IS NO DANGER BECAUSE THE WATER IS CALM.

Jaffna saw one of the most Fierce and deadliest battle of the Indian Army in close combat in built up areas fighting the LTTE, the most dreaded militant group in the world. It was purely an Infantry Battle, man to man without technology and with no heavy weapon support. The Survival, during combat in Sri Lanka was purely on local resources. Indian Infantry combat Soldier was Tough and Resilient he feared only his God. Jaffna town and the entire peninsula had been vacated of all civilians, shifting them into camps outside Jaffna. Therefore in the entire Combat Zone of Jaffna we had only LTTE militants to fight and destroy.

The flash back was terrible; I could and will never forget the “Grave”. There was lull in the battle that day; the Jaffna had fallen in my hands with heavy cost to my brave combat outfit, losing my brave and gallant combat soldiers with some being severely wounded. I Maj Rakesh Dubey,Vir Chakra and my brave Maratha combat outfit had killed the LTTE in large strength, killing them at close quarters, hand to hand with our Khukri and Bayonets. We were holding ground and now deployed near a heritage mammoth structure called “Residency”, but popularly referred by the LTTE cadre as “Old Park”.

THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN MEETING THE PERFECT PERSON AT THE WRONG TIME.

A team of “Special Forces” Parachute Commandos somehow manage to establish contact with me, their sole aim this time was humanitarian; conveying a frantic request from a Tamil Brahmin Technocrat, located in a safe Camp outside Jaffna; the gentleman wanted to desperately meet me, and he knew my name. I agreed. The “Special Forces” Para Commando team provided the Tamil Gentleman a safe passage and escorted him and few of his close friends and relative; to reach my location early morning the next day. I was about to hear and encounter something terrible, the discloser of a fact and incident for which I was not prepared. The Tamil gentleman requested for burial of his wife in the compound of the house which we unfortunately were occupying as part of our deployment.  “We do not bury our dead being a Hindu”, he said. Surprising I thought, and here he was requesting us to help bury his wife next to his bedroom window. He started crying, uncontrollably, “where is the body of the lady?” I inquired. “I desperately, would need your help”, he said and led us to a spot approximately 1000 meter away from our location; inside the compound of another palatial house. Lifting bodies was not our task, however I instructed my troops to ferry the body of the lady, from approximately a kilometer; to the spot where the Tamil gentleman wanted to bury her, it started raining, a tropical weather always under overcast. The body had badly swollen slightly decomposed; she was dressed in a costly sari; adorning heavy Gold ornaments on herself. This was probably due to the fact that, they had no safe place in the Transit Camp to keep such costly items. My Troops dug and prepared the Grave, burying her as per his desire. The last rites as per Hindu rituals were performed by the Tamil Brahmin gentleman himself.

THE INCIDENT THAT OCCURRED, HAPPENED RAPIDLY AND WAS TOTALLY UNFORESEEN

Jaffna was the highly volatile combat zone; the instruction to my troops was shoot first than ask question, and with LTTE, we could not afford to be complacent at any moment or time.  Since Jaffna had been vacated of all the civilian population my troops were operating with freedom and having no fear of any collateral damage to civilians and therefore had shot at the target intruder two previous nights; it was a precision shot from our Telescopic Rifle. The lady was not supposed to be there, slipping away from the Transit Camp at that time of the night. She along with her son holding a folded umbrella was trying to approach the house in the dark. The intruder appeared at that distance and at night as someone holding a weapon in hand approaching our defenses. It was a single Telescopic Rifle shot and She Fell Dead. Another single shot was fired at another moving target, it was her son accompanying her, who fortunately managed to slip unscathed and ran back to the safety of Transit Camp; narrating the entire episode to his father in detail. I withheld nothing from the bereaved brave Tamil Gentleman; I owned up and accepted my responsibility, the damage had been done and it was a colossal loss to the family. War I thought brings so much of a pain to your heart; I did not know how he and his brave sons will cope with loss in life; apart from feeling sorry I could do nothing. The Tamil Brahmin Gentleman, left back for the camp escorted by the Special Forces team. I do not know why? The man had no malice against me; before parting, he held and hugged me tightly, crying his guts out; I did not stop him and held him in that position till he desired and released me. We bid Bye to each other.

MISTAKES ARE ALWAYS FORGIVABLE IF ONE HAS THE COURAGE TO ACCEPT THEM.

I was visiting that house for the first time after that incident. Jaffna was now inhabited, the entire civilian population had been asked by the Indian Army to return back to their homes. The Tamilian Family escorted me to their sitting room, we sat down. “Sir”! He said, “A Head Quarter has been established in the Residency building, to look into and accept any report from the public of Jaffna, to disburse War Compensation to those, who have Lost Property and Life during the IPKF Operations”. He continued by asking “What should we do Sir”? “You should claim the unfortunate Loss of your Wife”, I said. “Get a blank sheet of paper”, I requested. On the paper I wrote in bold letters.

“THIS FAMILY HAS SUFFERED A LOSS OF A MOTHER TO THREE SONS, A WIFE, A SOLE MANAGER OF THIS GREAT TOUGH FAMILY; THEY HAVE LOST THEIR MOTIVATION TO LIVE; DUE TO MY COMBAT ACTION, UNDER MY ORDERS AND COMMAND. I THEREFORE REQUEST THAT ALL NECESSARY HELP AND COMPENSATION BE GIVEN TO THIS UNFORTUNATE FAMILY”. And I put my signature, writing my Rank, Name and Designation boldly, and handed the note to the Tamil Family.

The Tamil gentleman took the paper and read it loudly, repeating the reading several times, and gave the slip back to me. “No”, he said, “I cannot take it; it may affect your career, your future in the Army”. I stood, getting up from the sofa to leave and placing the signed note on the table. “Do not worry” I said, “Your loss is bigger, larger and huge than my career”. They did not know how to react, and before they could again attempt to handover the said note back to me, I shook hand, hugged each one of them and left. I could see them waving their hand, standing near the gate; till my silhouette was visible.
Much time had elapsed and after many months, I happen to be there, right in front of their house. I was now carrying out combat military operations in another difficult jungle area in the neck of Jaffna Peninsula, towards Colombo, and therefore my frequency of visit this side had reduced.

AT SOME POINT, YOU HAVE TO REALIZE THAT SOME PEOPLE STAY

IN YOUR HEART, BUT NOT IN YOUR LIFE

I saw the three boys standing near their compound gate, it seems they had premonition of my visit. I stopped my jeep and got down to meet them, they rushed out to welcome me. After our formal hand shake, I proceeded towards the “Grave” to pay my obeisance and respect to the departed soul, their “mother”; I bowed and touched the “Grave” and prayed, my combat protection followed and did the same. It is then that I noticed the Tamil gentleman coming out from his house, I turned towards him, he came closer and hugged me, I could see that he was carrying the same “Umbrella” with him, my troops also noticed. “How are you”? I asked, “And did you receive the compensation”; and at that moment, I noticed the said note held in his hand; “No”! He said, “We cannot put your military service in trouble. Kindly take this letter back. You are a brave and a great warrior Sir”, he continued; “I would like my sons to be like you”. He said. He was crying holding the umbrella closer to his chest. “Our Salute” he said, “To You and the Indian Army”.

 
“Tamils are tough and surely can make great sacrifice, I could easily surmise. I have therefore developed an unending respect and love for this unique class” I shall always pray for their well being, I decided.

 
I bid farewell to this extraordinary brave Tamil Family, “We would probably never meet”? I said, “As my combat military operations were taking me away from your location and therefore I have come to say final Bye to you all”. My statement came like a bolt to them, crying loudly, all of them came closer, held and hugged me tightly and won’t leave; “their another close family member was leaving for good”, they said. All four Brave Tamils, walked with me, holding my hand and escorted me to my jeep. I understood that “AT SOME POINT, YOU HAVE TO REALIZE THAT SOME PEOPLE STAY IN YOUR HEART, BUT NOT IN YOUR LIFE”

My wife Vanita Dubey, after reading my true and real combat action narration, with connected loss of valuable lives; very aptly commented, “IF WAR IS THE ANSWER, THAN WE ARE ASKING THE WRONG QUESTION.”